Searching for Single Black Men? Set Yourself Up for Success.
In a profile, less is NOT more. The more details the better. Think of your profile as a movie trailer. The goal is to catch someone's curiosity. Give enough information to draw people in, without telling the whole story. Some mystery is always good.
It's important to be specific about what type of person you seem to work well with. For example, if you were involved with someone who was hard to communicate with, then you may want to mention in your profile that good communication skills are necessary.
The best way to attract people, who share common values, is to make your preferences known. If you're clear about what you want in a relationship and a mate before you begin writing, your needs will come through in your profile.
Ask Dr. Schwartz
Q:
Dear Dr. Pepper, I am 32 and concerned why I can't make a relationship work. I'm totally giving, selfless, loving and I give all in a relationship. I attract men who are between 38-40, yet are not willing to commit. We start dating and they say I'm everything they've been looking for and how lucky they are. Yet after about 3 months or 6 months, they make up an excuse how they aren't relationship material and then, that's it. If I'm so great to them, how come they can't commit?
A:
Honestly, you probably give too much. Everyone likes someone who gives a lot in the beginning. But over time, it may feel unbalanced, they start to take you for granted, and pretty soon what you have seems not so worthwhile because they haven't had to reciprocate.
What you have to do is be yourself, but wait until you get back what you give before you give again. Don't let a guy think you are his for the asking. Make them work a bit harder for your commitment and love. In fact, given your history, hold back more than you would normally and let the guy pursue you. Keep communication lines open, and make sure the guy is as attentive and attracted as he was in the beginning. Don't give more if you start to feel the temperature cool off, as that will only make things worse. Rather, ask what's going on and back off if the guy won't talk or starts giving less. I know how hard it is to love, feel loved and then be left.
Very few people date without having that happen to them, unless they make sure they always leave first by making a pre-emptor withdrawal. That's not the way to go either if you ever want a lifetime partnership. Understand that losing someone happens in life, but do try and correct some habits that might make loss more frequent than it has to be. Give a little less and you might find yourself getting a lot more.
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